Things Happy Girlfriends Don't Do

  

I am writing this piece because I believe, despite the dictation of the novelty that women should have their updated versions and equal gender roles, ladies are better off remaining conventional (and conservative) when it comes to intimate relationships. There might be no perfect formula to becoming a happy girlfriend, but this might help in strengthening happiness in a relationship.

"It is better to live in a corner of the housetop

than in a house shared with a quarrelsome

wife." -Proverbs 21:9

Nagging is a foe. Yes, ladies already know this. But still, a lot just doesn't stop nagging, or at least try not to. Uncontrollable words coming out of your mouth—whether it be friendly reminders that your guy should stop overeating; reiterated advices that he should not play too much dota; or repeated stories pointing out that he’s wrong in an argument you always bring up (you know, the Jurassic!)—are a ramp. These usually sync in to the minds of the boyfriends and give them ideas like, ‘This girl is not even classy.’

Real talk here. If it hurts, maybe you have to examine yourself. Act now before it’s too late. Anyhow, what you practice in the relationship is what you will be in marriage. No husband would want his wife to be ranting (worst scenario) first thing in the morning!

Ladies, it's called ladies' bag, right?  Look at your boyfriend if he's right beside you. Or you definitely need not to. You perfectly know how he looks like, and how you do. You are both human beings with exactly the same body parts and number of body parts. Your guy doesn't have three shoulders that you demand him to carry your pink satchel bag, only because you think it would make him look [to the crowd] like he loves you so much as he's ready to drop his machismo-image for you. I tell you, you are mistaken. How can a guy, meant to be respected, too, appear with dignity if he carries a tiny cutie pinky bag of yours?

If he willingly volunteers to carry your hand or tote or duffel or sling or shoulder bag, no matter how cute you think he looks, you can say no. There are things in a relationship you don't have to be submissive about. But a guy in rebuff of the big heavy travel bag at your back while there's also a ladies' bag hanging down from your shoulder is another story. I hope you know the difference.

Don’t be overly romantic. That’s for your guys to be. I think it would be normal for girls to be sweet and affectionate. And there’s nothing wrong with that. When I say sweet and affectionate, I don’t mean you become like his mom who keeps on checking on him in every minute of every day when he was seven years old; or like his yaya who wants to appear cute in the crowd by wiping his face, pretending there’s a few sweat drops. That’s not sweet. More of a trying hard.

Don’t get me wrong, if your guy is a sports guy and you were there in full support of his basketball game, it would be okay to wipe a partial of his face after the game, then hand him the towel after. You don’t have to rub it all over his back. This is a gesture of a mother right after her grade-schooler won in the soccer games. You are a girlfriend. Your commitment is different from his mom’s.

And when I say romantic, what I mean is preparing surprise candlelight dinners for your anniversary. It’s for the guys; don’t steal the idea and responsibility away from him. You can always make up by appreciating that, and giving him a letter honestly written from the bottom of your heart then reading it during the candlelight dinner. Sounds romantic enough. Don’t overdo it.

Never ever be the first to put marriage plans in a conversation! Again, this is the guy’s call; unless, you want to break that every-girl’s-dream to be romantically and surprisingly proposed to and you want to be the one down on your knees asking your man ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?’ I tell you, this is a no-no. In fact, the study of college students at a liberal-leaning university found that not a single man or woman wanted a proposal in which the woman asked the man to marry her. (http://www.livescience.com)

You might say, ‘Whoa. I am innocent of this.’ Yet again, let me ask you, have you never ever told him things like I-really-want-five-kids-someday out of nowhere, too? Didn't you open up marriage topics which you try to put up in ambiguous words to somehow not lay a pressure on his head?  If not, good thing, you are not really guilty of this fuss.

Yes, there is a perfect wedding, a wedding of two people who journeyed
together with the guidance of God. Even Jesus Himself loves weddings.
Remember how He made the finest wine from water? (John 2)

But don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that you just nod or smile or, worst, say ‘No comment’ when your boyfriend is already giving you his intentions of marrying you and building a family and dreams with you. When you are at this stage of the relationship and you see his genuine intentions of you, an affirmative response like ‘Sounds good to me’ or ‘I’d want to’ or anything unpretentious coming from your heart can suffice the small percentage of possible rejection he might feel. One more thing, only say this when you yourself are 100% sure that this man is the one you want to wake up with in the mornings until both your heads have turned gray; plus, if you are already engaged. That’s when you take part in planning and in the preparations for tying the knot.

But if you’re still a bit hesitant, please remember that giving false hopes hurts. You don’t want to be given even a single one, too.

True love waits. You will know that it’s true [love] when it survives the longest of times and there is joy in waiting. It is possible. Remember, Jacob worked for his wife Rachel for a total of 14 years. And this is a true story; its being Biblical is a plus point.

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“So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.” – Genesis 29:20 (NIV)

“But wait until the bridal week is over, then we'll give you Rachel, too--provided you promise to work another seven years for me. So Jacob agreed to work seven more years. A week after Jacob had married Leah, Laban gave him Rachel, too." – Genesis 29:27-28 (NLT)

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Yes, without a word, Jacob did so.

Ladies, you know what I mean. Don’t give it all. Take care of your purity until you are really one flesh, not perceptive of your biased subjective lame love defenses [that you deeply love each other], but [one flesh] in God’s eyes. Some guys wouldn’t admit it, but most of them—those that don’t brag about the number of the girls they slept with—feel that there is an excitement minus. Don’t you think that giving your virginity up only to your husband is a security? Because no matter what happens, he will always be your husband and you his wife. It is God that bound you two together. Over it all, I personally think that honeymoon is something that should be exciting and nerve-wrecking for both the groom and the bride; not as ordinary as it used to have been.

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is unitedto his wife,
and they become one flesh. - Genesis 2:24

I would also want to share the following verses with you.

New International Version

Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. – Genesis 2:25

New Living Translation

Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. – Genesis 2:25

English Standard Version

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25

New American Standard Bible

And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25

King James Bible

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25

Holman Christian Standard Bible

Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame. – Genesis 2:25

International Standard Version

Even though both the man and his wife were naked, they were not ashamed about it. – Genesis 2:25

If you noticed, all these versions used ‘wife.’ Eve could have been instead noted there since we all already know that the wife was Eve. And (Hello?) Eve was the only female in the beginning of time! Let’s see the difference then: Adam and Eve were both naked, and they felt no shame. This could have modified God’s message to unmarried couples. But then, God made sure that what is written in His Scripture is "wife," substantiating ownership and oneness and an all-out of everything… with no shame. 

That's why it is called (and should always be called) making love. A husband and a wife make love; that is, the child. Making love in the context of marriage is beautiful in the eyes of the Lord; but one outside of it... can be miserable.

If God is pleased with your relationship, don’t you think He will bless you with even more? J♥