Will you marry me? Why ladies should leave this question to men

Last year, my ex-boyfriend did the biggest surprise of his life (ever yet). It was not just a surprise, but more of a big decision he made for himself, for us.

All dressed up, he went down on his knee, blurted out a short message and asked at the end of it, “Love, will you marry me?”

(It marked the end of that chapter. We are happily married now.)

To be honest, I was not shocked that soon enough, less than two years after we officially started dating, he’d be asking me to marry him. During courtship, he already made his intentions clear (plus pogi points!), that he never entered into the relationship just for the sake of having it; that he was dating me with marriage as the goal; that he wanted to settle down, build a family with me one day. In the course of our relationship, he'd also always drop hints that sooner or later, we would be settling down.

So, what really took me by surprise when he proposed was how he did it — NOT why he did it or “Oh, he’s doing it now?!?” I hope you see the difference.

A test to hold on? Or a sign to let go?

For the longest time, I had been asking myself, "How do I know? How will I know?" And for the longest time, I had no answer. I always ended up questioning myself if something was a test to hold on or a sign to let go. I perfectly knew that there were these two little voices in my head. But my thoughts were clouded and were confusing me which was right, and which was not.

It took me long. It took me years to get it, to understand, and to finally act on it. But when I was in that situation, I was not really perceiving it as such. For me, things were okay, because I had no value for time. I had no care for tomorrows. All that mattered was the now, and worst, the past. Too much admiration of the past. Of how the story began. Of the physical and emotional investments in the relationship. Of the wrong sacrifices… yet so less for the future.

The Straight and Crooked Advertising

To receive a statement that “one is a play safe” is not actually a compliment, implying that one does not defend his verdict over an argument or does not even have a stand on it. While playing safe might be a reason for a housemate to be nominated for eviction in the Philippine reality show Big Brother as it may infer pretentions, or be a reason for a journalist’s write-up on a corruption issue to be crumpled by an editor as it did not voice out the sleaze, to say that advertising is both a positive and a negative social tool is actually ‘safer’ than playing safe, and indeed, a positive comment.

It is inevitable to see advertisements everywhere. You see your favorite shampoo (which is effective) commercial on TV; you go past a call-center-job-opportunity flyer glued on a post (and you applied, got hired and paid your bills on time the next month); you read posters inviting you to buy your own condominium unit with as low as P5,500.00 monthly amortization (then found out after communicating with the contact person that it was a promo three months ago); you read from newspapers concert invitations highlighting the word ‘only’ in every admission fee (as if P2,000.00 costs really cheap); you notice empty billboard with still advertisement on it saying that ‘this space is available’ (and the next time you saw it, a high-end apparel brand took advantage of the space). Certainly, ads come to be part of our dailies and their effects vary accordingly.

Journalism as a Profession: Getting Beyond the Core

‘I am a journalist by profession’ might sound an impressive introduction of oneself to some, or a low-rent pursuit to several. It might appear like a sham to someone who thinks that journalism is only a deliberate act trying to disguise as the more sophisticated, proudly-termed profession; while another is certain that there is professionalism in this line of work, evenly weighed-up with the competence of lawyers, doctors and engineers.

While there is flexibility of employment in America, where professionals can work as part-time waiters or ‘gasoline boys’ and consider themselves well compensated for the job, the idea of this practice in the Philippines, however, disappointingly becomes something that someone will not take pride for. Filipino scholars (or even some who are not) crave for executive positions, not only because it is everyone else’s dream, but also because it is more difficult for a blue-collar worker to survive an overly growing family. Hence, education becomes one of the criteria for demanding a high-paid job in the country.

8 Can-do’s for a Prosaic Travel Alone

Our realizations, most of the time, seem mousy that they come out more often when we are alone than when we kill time enjoying with a group of friends.

Nonetheless, I have no scientific explanation. And I didn't have the time and get-up-and-go to google it. And this is what makes it labelled under ‘Journal.’

Having a workplace that is within walking distance from my place is a big advantage, really, especially here in the metro. No further explanations needed. You exactly know why. However, at some point, it also carries some drawbacks: it minimizes my self-called philosophical time—the solitude I find from traveling alone with my eyes glued on the streets no matter how good the movie being played on the TV bus is or how intriguing a couple seems in that jeepney ride.

When faith becomes dead...

"6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do." - James 1:6-9

The things that do not come from God He hates. Sin doesn't come from Him, that's why He hates it. And doubt is among the 'ungodly' things; hence, God considers it loathing.

Doubt is created by the enemy to hurt God's feelings; to insult His greatness, His capabilities, His very most being; to form unbelief among God's children; and most especially, to nurture this unbelief until nothing seems possible anymore.

The Grasp of a Powerful Heart

“I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people, and His incomparably great power for us who believe.”– Ephesians 1:18-19

Many of us want to be blessed, to experience the power of God in our lives, to see and feel that the Almighty hands are moving for our dreams to come to pass. Yet many of us don’t first examine the condition of our hearts—the inner most being of being a Christian. The Lord said in His words that if we let our hearts be enlightened, we will be able to see His power; that is, His riches, His plans, His will, His control, His blessings, His love. However, the enlightenment of our hearts is not something automatically given. It is something we desperately ask from God because our hearts firmly hold this desire of wanting more of Him, some sort of a reward for the things we worked for in harmony with what is being taught, which is “to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Ephesians 4:24)

Not My Usual Monday Sickness

The jeepney was running very slow for someone in rush. The driver seemed [to me] greedy enough that he was stopping at every street corner and hoping that passersby and waiting-shed tambays would add up coins to his belt bag. But I could not blame the mid-40 guy. He was working; but I was rushing late for school. My bad.

I glanced at my favorite over-sized wristwatch. (I'm fond of watches, by the way.) It was 8:40 AM and I was only halfway. I let out a few deep breaths, made not more than five annoying tsk sounds and took a quick look at my watch again. This time, it was not for my delight in the watch. I was bothered, not because my slipping into the middle of the class would bring me shame and reproach; my classmates were used to my conduct; but because I know I would definitely miss a lot from this Professor. And I would start hating myself for that.

Things Happy Girlfriends Don't Do

  

I am writing this piece because I believe, despite the dictation of the novelty that women should have their updated versions and equal gender roles, ladies are better off remaining conventional (and conservative) when it comes to intimate relationships. There might be no perfect formula to becoming a happy girlfriend, but this might help in strengthening happiness in a relationship.

Turning Plans into Actuals



Whereas the Philippine academe promotes students to hold a degree; parents highly encourage and (more often than the normal) oblige children to get hold of a white-collar job; and corporates’ basic requirements are at least college graduates, scholars adopt and establish all these as standards and choose to augment their education by acquiring post-graduate diplomas. Being in a traditionally-and-socially-engaged country, we act according to norms and social changes which directly lead us to become education-conscious.